OK, I admit it. I kinda had the hots for Betty Rubble. What can I say, I was at the age where, as Lenny Bruce used to say, guys will “have sex with mud if there’s nothing else handy.”
Anyway, speaking of testosterone and Stone Age tribal sensibilities, here’s a quote from a piece in a current publication. You’re all forgiven for guessing it might be the Onion, but it ain’t, it’s the National Review, that guiding light for US conservative thought;
What do women want? The conventional biological wisdom is that men select mates for fertility, while women select for status — thus the commonness of younger women’s pairing with well-established older men but the rarity of the converse. […..] Ellen Kullman is a very pretty woman, but at 56 years of age she probably would not turn a lot of heads in a college bar, and the fact that she is the chairman and CEO of Dupont isn’t going to change that.
It’s a good thing Mitt Romney doesn’t hang out in college bars.
You want off-the-charts status? Check out the curriculum vitae of one Willard M. Romney: $200 million in the bank (and a hell of a lot more if he didn’t give so much away), apex alpha executive, CEO, chairman of the board, governor, bishop, boss of everything he’s ever touched. Son of the same, father of more. It is a curious scientific fact (explained in evolutionary biology by the Trivers-Willard hypothesis — Willard, notice) that high-status animals tend to have more male offspring than female offspring, which holds true across many species, from red deer to mink to Homo sap. The offspring of rich families are statistically biased in favor of sons — the children of the general population are 51 percent male and 49 percent female, but the children of the Forbes billionaire list are 60 percent male. Have a gander at that Romney family picture: five sons, zero daughters. Romney has 18 grandchildren, and they exceed a 2:1 ratio of grandsons to granddaughters (13:5). When they go to church at their summer-vacation home, the Romney clan makes up a third of the congregation. He is basically a tribal chieftain.
Professor Obama? Two daughters. May as well give the guy a cardigan. And fallopian tubes.
From an evolutionary point of view, Mitt Romney should get 100 percent of the female vote. All of it. He should get Michelle Obama’s vote. You can insert your own Mormon polygamy joke here, but the ladies do tend to flock to successful executives and entrepreneurs. Saleh al-Rajhi, billionaire banker, left behind 61 children when he cashed out last year. We don’t do harems here, of course, but Romney is exactly the kind of guy who in another time and place would have the option of maintaining one. He’s a boss. Given that we are no longer roaming the veldt for the most part, money is a reasonable stand-in for social status. Romney’s net worth is more than that of the last eight U.S. presidents combined. He set up a trust for his grandkids and kicked in about seven times Barack Obama’s net worth, which at $11.8 million is not inconsiderable but probably less than Romney’s tax bill in a good year. If he hadn’t given away so much money to his church, charities, and grandkids, Mitt Romney would have more money than Jay-Z.
It is time for Mitt Romney to get in touch with his inner rich guy….
OK, Christ, that’s enough, but suffice it to say there are three pages of this drivel at the link if you really want to punish yourself.
As a lagniappe, here’s the very first comment in the thread that follows the article;
What a powerfully realistic piece of writing that hits the bullseye. Outstanding! Bring it on Mitt!
Oh all right, what the hell, just one more, and the spelling ain’t mine;
Note how our favorite liberals completely miss the point of the story.
There’s one group of people who will always hate the sucessful, and that is people who will never be sucessful.
We’ve got what, 9 more weeks of this? Something like that. Jesus. But it’s true what they say; Akin ain’t an outlier, he’s a representative feature.