Say what you will about those libertarians, they sometimes do decent work. In a discussion of the extrajudicial killings of Americans deemed by somebody or other to be terrorists, Nick Gillespie dissects the angsty journalism-school intellectualism of Michael Tomasky and briefly describes the pathetic toadyism of Touré.
But, further to my readings of online self-help literature, I find I must diverge from the libertarians in one key area, namely, I have gradually come to the conclusion that mindless, self-serving sycophancy is more disease than moral failure. So…I’ve been thinking that maybe I should quit complaining and instead lend a helping hand to the Tomaskys and Tourés of the world. In furtherance of that typically noble goal, I’ve begun to put together a new 12 Step program for American journalists and political TV personalities:
The 12 Steps of Ball-Lickers Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over our need to lick the balls of powerful men—that our tongues had become fuzzy and mildewy.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could remove this unseemly compulsion.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of something other than the hairy, pendulous sacks we worship.
It’s true that I envision something of an empire—treatment facilities, halfway houses, a dedicated publishing house—but my heart is in the right place (of course it is), and I think this new approach is just what America needs…for its safety and security.