sunday services

A change of pace this morning. Jonathan Bell was briefly something of a legend (primarily among stoners, I suspect) of public access television in the Dallas area some years ago. Stylistically he’s in a class all by himself.

Some of the preachers we feature here on Sunday Services have big churches and large crowds of dedicated followers, and their enterprises—especially those pushing some variety of “prosperity gospel” (Jesus wants you to have a Mercedes!)—are big money operations.  Others run their circuses in smaller rented spaces, but if you add all the camp followers together you’ve got a substantial percentage of the US population. Not a majority to be sure, but it’s a significant proportion and enough to exert more influence on political and economic policy, both domestic and foreign, than in any modernity on Earth. Some comedian, I forget which one, once said that the US in this regard is “like Iran, only with better plumbing.”

Jonathan Bell is not in that class of operator though. He made only two television episodes, less than an hour each, then went back to being a hairdresser. One episode was in casual dress and the other in a tuxedo and a bow tie, and he’s included in this series simply because it would be an aesthetic calamity to leave him out.

The weird captions which appear from time to time (Satanism!, Dressed to Kill!, Depression and Low Self Esteem!) are all part of the original broadcasts and are not discernibly related to the ranting at all. He’s crazy, of course, and not just by a little bit, but there’s a kind of plaintive quality and lack of guile here that’s unusual. It’s not remotely difficult to muster hostility toward most of these shrill assclowns. But with Brother Jonathan, for me anyway, not so much.

So;

If you wanna turn the channel, go ahead, fool! Turn the channel! If you wanna learn something about God, shut your mouth and listen to me for a minute.

 

I couldn’t find any edited version, so, for those with the stamina,  here’s his tuxedo episode in full.

 

 

 

sad, innit?

This is what our old friend “Comment is Free” has come to. And it’s a fucking shame. And I, for one, miss what it once was.

Since someone (someone with a real good eye, too) went to the trouble of concocting these (and more, here at a Tumblr called “Comment is Weird“), there is some small solace in knowing that I’m not the only one.

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and in local news

Denver. Wednesday last.

A mere hundred or so demonstrators declaring “solidarity” with folks in Baltimore, and certainly non-violent, are met first by motorcycle cops with demands to “get on the fucking sidewalk”, then a few minutes later by what one must suppose are cops but who look a good bit different.

It seems clear to me that these young folks would have eventually reached the State Capitol, which is where they were headed, without torching any convenience stores or causing problems any more serious than a few minor interruptions in the flow of traffic. That’s not what happened though.

Most all the demonstrators are clearly obeying the commands to “get on the fucking sidewalk”, but that doesn’t stop a few cops from squirting them with pepper spray anyway, once there and engaged in nothing more threatening than chanting and holding the occasional sign.

I’ll say this, these young folks are not short of courage, nor an appropriate sense of outrage. They’re not short of video cameras either.

So there’s the video. And here’s the official police account, dutifully transcribed by the Denver Post;

A protest in downtown Denver on Wednesday evening turned violent and police used force and pepper spray on demonstrators.
Eleven adults were arrested, police said: Eight men and three women.

Two of the arrests were felonies for assault on police and robbery. The rest of the arrests were on misdemeanors of resisting police, disobedience of lawful orders, obstructing roadways, and interference, police said on Twitter  …  A line of police officers on motorcycles shadowed the protesters as they neared Broadway.

Officials say police employed force only after one of the protestors assaulted one of the officers in the escort, knocking him off of his motorcycle as people moved down Broadway.

From eyewitness accounts it seems some dipshit did indeed knock a cop off his motorcycle. But the video makes a mockery of the assertion that  “A line of police officers on motorcycles shadowed the protesters as they neared Broadway”, and “employed force only after one of the protestors assaulted one of the officers in the “escort”.

A line of cops on motorcycles blocking the street from curb to curb being described as an “escort” is pretty darn imaginative though, I’ll give them that.

This is new ground. We don’t know where this is going to go, except to say that in all likelihood, sooner or later, we’re almost certainly going to see multiple camera angles of some truly brutal suppression of a kind not seen for a long time on US streets. It’s clear that the military-style training now so common in domestic police departments, with its emphasis on regarding anyone but other cops as “enemy combatants”, has become ingrained pretty deeply. I fear some truly awful shit is ahead of us before we manage to turn a corner on this crap.

If we manage it, that is.

 

the perfect employee

Shane, an employee in the deli department in a Walmart, is my new hero. Apparently a Reddit user, whatever that is, called “Ardentleprechaun“, whatever that is, works with this character Shane, and has documented the notes that management leaves on a whiteboard in the staffroom to try keeping Shane in the corporate corral.

But Shane is a frisky little rascal, and a comedy genius, that much is almost immediately obvious. I mean, look at this;

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Shane is into the chicken thing in a big way, that much becomes clear pretty quick, and this kind of thing is not the output of a stupid mind;

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Management, as is so often the case, are pedestrian thinkers. And in addition they’re often just dead fucking wrong, as here;

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What bullshit! I simply cannot imagine a more appropriate venue for such practice.

I have no clue what “swinecraft” is either, but I don’t care, ‘cos this one is just brilliant;

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It would be lovely to think that these are all actually written by management to a real employee called “Shane”, but even if that little whisper of skepticism in my head is right and the entire plot is a complete fiction, it doesn’t really matter because the script is real enough and somebody, somewhere, really did write it.

So even if it’s all cobbled together with a camera in someone’s kitchen 20 miles from the nearest Walmart, it’s still a glorious sign of sanity in a time where it so often seems in such short supply.

More here if you want them.

 

you better hurry

I don’t know how I missed passing this screaming deal along earlier, but there’s only 80 of these left now. Where else can you get an obsolete hard drive that no longer works but with a beautiful plastic sticker on it for a mere 100 bucks?

There’s more fabulous merchandise at Rand’s Mercantile too. Stylish garments. Useful anti-surveillance sticky tape NSA Spy Cam Blockers. Rand Paul wineglasses.

Don’t miss out!

 

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We might also mention that his store used to offer Rand Paul logo RayBan® sunglasses, but RayBan® found out about it and the oppressive capitalist swine from Atlas Shrugged forced the store to discontinue them.

Oh,  and let’s not forget that this cheesy piece of shit is running for President, so you’ll be needing some of these “Rand on a Stick” thingamajiggers in a big way, too.

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