it’s the damn security…

people’s fault.

Annual Gathering of the Navel Gazer's Club, Detroit 2012

Mitt Romney’s speech in front of a 98% empty football stadium was the result of a last minute security change, according to two highly placed officials with the event’s organizer, the Detroit Economic Club.

The stadium was only chosen after a smaller venue sold out. Beth Chappell, president and CEO of the group, told TPM that the new plan was to hold the event in the stadium’s atrium, which wouldn’t have had a panoramic view of the venue’s empty 65,000 seats, but that the security team — which included Secret Service, Detroit police, and Ford Field security — did not approve.

“The security team had concerns when they did walkthrough so we had to move meeting to the field,” she said. “I am just sick that this has become an issue where there is none. We were thrilled with turnout.”

And just in case you doubt their word on this, not that anyone would you understand, they ladle on the earnestness double thick;

“I’m just being really honest with you, 1200 is a good crowd. Twelve hundred is one of the largest crowds they’ve had,” the board member said. “It wasn’t sparse — it was the way that they set it up.”

So 1200 is the largest crowd they had? Whose side is that guy on?

23 Responses to it’s the damn security…

  1. NatashaFatale says:

    Axelrod tweeted that Romney had pinned himself inside the twenty.

    The Guardian quoted him without comment.

    What on earth do you suppose they thought he meant? Bluthner???

  2. Bluthner says:

    I’ll take that bait, but with trepidation. I thought he meant that by doubling down on letting Chrysler to the wall he was cementing his position with the 20% of the country that lives off casino banking, and alienating forever the other 80. He now owns the last 20 yards of turf in front of his own end zone, but he’s never going to advance for even one first down? kind of thing?

    I hated football when I was forced to play it in high school. The coaches kept yelling at me for not hitting people with my head. Why on earth would I want to hit people with my head?

  3. NatashaFatale says:

    What I thought.

  4. KevinNevada says:

    The caption could also be:

    “Willard’s Big Mo, On Display”.

    Dick Tuck would be proud of this one. He did something very like this to Nixon in 1962, when Tricky Dick was running for Governor.

    (He was also the guy who sabotaged a “whistle stop tour” by Dick. At the Monterey station, just as Nixon began to speak to the crowd, Tuck appeared on the platform in a blue uniform, with the right cap, and whistled and waved the engineer to start up the train, for the run to Salinas.
    Nixon’s speech was delivered in Doppler mode, as he pulled away from that crowd.
    True story, although Tuck later denied it. He denied many things.

    More truth: the dirty tricks unit that worked for Pres. Nixon in the 1972 campaign was inspired by Tuck, but as usual for these right-wing guys, they got carried away . . . . . So in a twisted manner, Tuck brought Nixon down, by inspiring the whole Watergate thing.)

    Politics used to be more fun.

  5. KevinNevada says:

    Another note: sure the Rom-bot’s aides can do the Earnest Denial Shuffle, and appear to be sincere while doing so.

    They all have good practical training in these skills, as LDS missionaries.

    For a bit of fun, when a pair of them next appear at your door, ask them about mitochondrial DNA – then watch them dance.

  6. MadameMax says:

    Well, NPR reported this morning that the first venue would hold 3000 and that it “sold out” so the event had to be moved to a larger space. My questions: Did people actually buy tickets to see RomBot, and when did 1200 come to be more than 3000?

    Of course, NPR could be completely wrong. They often are.

    Kevin–– Mormon missionaries don’t come to my door now that I have a little notice next to my doorbell downstairs that warns: SECULAR HUMANIST INTELLECTUALS* LIVE HERE. RELIGIOUS PROSELYTIZING NOT TOLERATED.

    *Plural because it includes Evil D, who is most definitely on a higher intellectual plane than any Mormon missionary.

  7. Bluthner says:

    I usually just say in a very loud voice: Holy Shit are you boys here to try to sell me some Jesus?!

    They don’t know how to cope with that. Eventually they nod, sheepishly. Whereupon I say, “Well you better keep moving ’cause I sure as hell ain’t buying!”

    And that does the trick. But mitochondrial DNA might be fun, too.

  8. MadameMax says:

    Bluthner–– I live on the top floor of a three-floor walk-up, and when my doorbell rings I go barreling down two flights of stairs thinking it’s UPS or FedEx (because the downstairs door is not locked and my friends just walk upstairs and knock on my door). I got really pissed off when I’d drop what I was doing and run downstairs only to find Mormons or Jehovah’s Witlesses. The nice little notice has done the trick for me.

    When I lived in the woods in WV, at the end of a mile-long gravel road, nobody ever came to the door unexpectedly except the UPS man. I had a 100 lb golden retriever who was of course the friendliest dog in the world but intimidating as he loved to greet people by flinging himself onto them. I always grabbed hold of his collar before opening the door.

    One day the doorbell rang, I grabbed the dog, opened the door to find two ladies in their Sunday best, clutching handfuls of Watchtower magazine. They apparently did not consider that people live in the woods at the end of long gravel roads for a reason.

    I let go of the dog. I confess that I thoroughly enjoyed the spectacle of the two ladies trying to run across my gravel driveway in their high-heeled shoes as Tim befriended them all the way to their car.

  9. Expat says:

    But mitochondrial DNA might be fun, too.

    DNA – Do you mean National Dyslexia Association? :)

  10. Expat says:

    They don’t know how to cope with that. Eventually they nod, sheepishly. Whereupon I say, “Well you better keep moving ’cause I sure as hell ain’t buying!”

    Mind you – You have to admire their fortitude at persisting in the face of jerks and that can’t politely say “Not today thank you”.

  11. Expat says:

    Just looked at the picture again – there isn’t even anyone sweeping the bleachers :)

  12. MadameMax says:

    Expat–– Why should anyone be polite to people who think their right to freedom of religion extends to harassing other people in their homes? Someone who rings doorbells in an attempt to force his/her religion on others is the jerk.

  13. NatashaFatale says:

    Kevin, Bluth:

    You’d really get a kick out of bringing up mitochondrial DNA? You’d find it entertaining to hear them explain how the Lamanites walked here by way of central Asia? It would make more sense if they’d swum the Atlantic?

    Mind, I’m not saying Madame’s way is any better; I mean, how can true peace and quiet be purchased with contemptuous words and slammed doors?

    I think I’ll stick with my way. A friendly welcome, and a whole plate of poisoned brownies. And I never bury the Mormons and the Adventists on the same side of the yard. Just because we don’t feel like we get respect, Madame, doesn’t mean we can’t give it.

  14. MadameMax says:

    I respect you, Natasha, for coming up with a tasteful alternative to elderberry wine. But are Mormons permitted to eat chocolate? Doesn’t it contain a smidgen of caffeine? Are you sending them off with a stain on their souls? I must say, I don’t think it very respectful of you to take advantage of their weak will.

  15. Pornstar says:

    Speaking of Mormons…

    Was stuck in front of Fox News tonight through no fault of my own (closed captioned), and it seems that Mr. Huntsman, despite endorsing Mittens, is calling for a third party as healthy for America. Probably i called Huntsman running as as an Indy a few weeks ago, but if it turns out to be the case, i’m not going to get smug about it. I’m surely not the only one. But he insists that it’s not going to be him anyway. Nfw. Hmmm. Are people supposed to beg, i don’t know. He seems like a straight enough shooter.

  16. NatashaFatale says:


    Mormons can’t drink coffee or tea. Most avoid decaf as a gateway drug but Coke is fine. Hell, Jolt is fine. Chocolate is more than fine. Natasha’s petits gateaux au chocolat a la Lucretia send them off newly shriven with smiles on their faces.

  17. KevinNevada says:


    No, I meant DNA, dammit I’m not a miracle worker but I am a science teacher.
    (And an engineer.)

    The mitochondrial DNA thing isn’t the only scientific problem for Joe Smith’s Fantasy Novel, aka the Book of Mormon, there are also the fantasy horses drawing chariots on a continent where the wheel was not known . . . . and a few other pesky problems too.

    The next LDS missionaries at my door will be asked to explain these things. Yeah, it is cheap fun but these days, we takes our fun where we finds it.

  18. KevinNevada says:


    you will only snag corrupted Mormons with your wicked brownies. They are supposed to shun chocolate too. (It really is amazing, given that one, that there are any converts at all.)

    Of course, they have this conveeeenient notion that anyone is allowed one little sin. Our insurance agent, a BYU grad, did his missionary stint in Belgium, and returned with a sad addiction to chocolate. We gift him a box of the stuff, every Christmas, doing our little bit for depravity.

  19. gunnison says:

    Myself, I have trouble trying to talk to a 20 year-old wearing the nametag “Elder Robertson” or whatever, so Mormon visitations are declined at once, politely in my case, but Paula asks if they can’t read the “no trespassing” sign or are they just too fucking stupid to understand it.

    Over at the old place we the same Jehovah’s Witness visiting for close to twenty years, twice a year. Nice guy. Heavy equipment operator. I call him “radar” ‘cos he has hearing aids in both ears. Big burly guy with a red face and a gap-toothed grin, Dickens would have loved him.

    After about six or seven visits, we quit talking about the JW stuff (though he’d leave the Watchtower on the table, without a word) and just started talking about life and wood and growing things and making things.

    We’d visit, twice a year for about an hour, and I like him, he’s a good man, with a big heart. One of the most relentlessly and genuinely cheerful people I’ve ever met, and completely gracious.

    I ran into him in the grocery store a few months ago, after not seeing him for about four years. He remembered my name, the kid’s names, friends’ names. Even the dogs’ names. We chatted for thirty minutes at least, and the word “god” was not mentioned even one single time.
    People like him are not the problem at all.

  20. MadameMax says:

    but Paula asks if they can’t read the “no trespassing” sign

    A few years ago I volunteered at the library a few days a week, shelving books. But I spent most of my time rearranging the books that were already on the shelves because just about every time I went to put a book in its place, I found that most of those on the shelf were out of place. Finally I mentioned this to one of the librarians. She rolled her eyes and said that the Mormon boys insisted on coming in to “help” and that they didn’t seem to understand basic alphabetizing. They weren’t allowed to work upstairs in the nonfiction but no one had the heart to tell them they were hopeless with the fiction and created more work for others, not to mention frustration for the patrons.

    Really, those Mormons seemed to think that you just found the shelf with the letter of the author’s last name and shoved the book in wherever there was a space. Or else they were just too lazy to do the job properly but wanted to feel they were doing good works for the community.

  21. Bluthner says:

    I am relentlessy polite to the stream of door-to-door salesman ringing my doorbell. (though the tide, which surged in 2009-2010) seems to be slacking off a bit. The white-coat guys who want to sell me half rotten fish, the cowboy tree surgeons who want to butcher my tree, even the recent ex-cons who want to sell me a pair of scissors that crack if you try to cut two sheets of paper, and for $15, the window cleaners and the house painters ad nauseam. They’re just trying to make ends meet. And I’m polite to the Jehovah’s Witnesses, too, who all seem to be from one African country south of the Sahara or another (including SA -which I mention just to make clear there’s no racial bias going on here, they usually come in a mixed race pair) and actually looking frightened, always smiling, always gentle and clearly sincere. But the Mormons… It’s always Saturday morning and it’s always two hulking boys, and I know as well as they do the real reason they are on my street is because when they reach the bottom and turn left and work down that street they will come to the Portobello market and five thousand of the prettiest Italian/French/American/German girls you are likely to find at any one time in any one place, in public in London in any case. So I don’t mind giving them a rocket. Which I do with good humor, I promise. I think they are surprised to find someone who isn’t being shy about it. They themselves are always shy and slightly embarrassed about it.

    But I’ve often thought if I had Bill Gates kinda money I might fund a similar effort: hire a bunch of smart and attractive and clean-cut young people to go out into the world, two-by-two, to ring doorbells and politely ask people if they could come in and explain the principles of stuff like evolution and thermodynamics. Science Evangelists. Hello, Sir, do you have a moment, we’d like to chat with you about the Higgs Boson, or the oxidation and reduction of ATP or maybe plate tectonics?

    But of course if they came round Frothy’s house they’d ALL end up buried in some dank corner of the yard behind the less admired pets, wouldn’t they. Agents of Satan…

  22. Expat says:

    Someone who rings doorbells in an attempt to force his/her religion on others is the jerk.

    Can’t disagree with that Madam.

  23. Di-Ohso says:

    How weird. I’ve just added it up, I haven’t had Mormons knocking on the door since 2000. I wonder why? They have a church just down the road too.
    Jehovah’s witness’s though come regularly once a month even though I don’t never give them the time of day.
    Conveniently my bedroom window is directly above the front door and I always open the window and look down on who is calling. It’s brilliant. Even the most hard nosed doorstep pest can’t sell whilst they’re craning their neck to look up at me.
    I have it down to a fine art. I let them explain what they want then say, ‘Sorry, not interested thank you,’ as I shut the window. :)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Enter the answer in digits. If you are registered and logged in, this silliness will go away. Time limit is exhausted. Please reload the CAPTCHA.