hatchet man

If you had asked me yesterday morning whether Scaramucci might not be Charley McCarthy to Trump’s Edgar Bergen, I’d have rolled my jaundiced eyes at you. I’d have repeated what my mother, the assistant shrink, always tried to preach to my father and me: stop trying to find deep reasons behind acts that are simply stupid and incompetent.

Because stupidity is one of the most powerful forces in the universe, and of all the varieties of stupidity there are, willful stupidity is the most powerful of the lot. By a very wide margin. Because ordering yourself not to think is the very easiest command you’ll ever be given. And since Donald Trump is the most willfully stupid man you’ll ever meet…

That is what I’d have been thinking, and that is what I would have told you, and man would I have been wrong. Right on schedule Priebus gets the boot up his butt and the scales fall from my eyes.

would you buy a used car from this man?

The Mooch is a hatchet man, the very epitome of one, and the hatchet-mooch was sent out to chop the GOP down to size. And to send a very loud message “to encourage the others”, as the man said. A message I once again imagine I can hear loud and clear…

Okay, you told me a couple of things, and even though I knew better I took you at your word. You told me all would be roses between us if I made your guy my chief of staff – just listen to Reince Mr President, just take his advice, and together we’ll make your most important promises come true, you’ll see.

First off we’ll get rid of that damn Obamacare, just like you promised, and after that we’ll be off and running. So I played along – I knew I shouldn’t trust you but I played along anyway. And you couldn’t even get your own damn people to do their simple fucking job, which was just to say yes when they were told to. Have I got that right? Did I miss something? No, I don’t think so either. So fuck you, okay? Fuck you one and all.

You can drop by any time you like to pick up what’s left of your boy. He’ll be sitting out on the curb with his sorry balls in his mouth.

From now on, when the Mooch speaks I’ll be paying attention. And so, I think, will a lot of other people.

95 Responses to hatchet man

  1. StillBernie says:

    And in other news, the Dems really do need to get their own hatchet out and sharpened.

    “House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) on Sunday said it is “unimportant” for Democrats to win the midterm elections in 2018.”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/house/344552-pelosi-unimportant-to-win-midterm-elections

  2. KevinNevada says:

    I miss Lefty.

    Aleatico too, used to post some very sane stuff.

  3. KevinNevada says:

    Pelosi has been allowed to lose several elections in a row, most notably the 2012 round when Obama got re-elected but the House remained in GOP clutches.

    So of course she thinks that 2018 is “unimportant”.

  4. NatashaFatale says:

    It would indeed be a crowning achievement fit for a lifetime of public service: to lead the opposition into the first lost mid-term in living memory after a new president takes over, and him the least popular president since Harding…How could she not be proud of that?

  5. NatashaFatale says:

    The divine Dahlia Lithwick points out that last week marks a change of sorts in the political atmosphere. Trump provoked three wellsprings of conservative politics into repudiating words he spoke and thumbed in their name “the Boy Scouts of America, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and police departments around the country.”:It’s a good and hopeful point. These are kind of conservative people who have been holding their noses and going along, in the belief that the tide of conservative policies he’s unleashing will make us all (or at least make them all) forget his boorishness. They are, in other words, unofficial representatives of his alleged base. They certainly are not giving up their beliefs, but they seem to have simultaneously concluded that he’s as much a threat to those beliefs as he is to everything else.

  6. StillBernie says:

    Well, after Hillary’s crowning achievement, surely Pelosi wants a fitting send-off of her own. Or maybe she’s just telgraphing that she’s somehow lost the Midas touch for raising money.

    Seriously, what the fuck is the matter with these coastal asswipes? They go between thinking they have wins in the bag, or hey, don’t get your expectations up or anything. What’s missing here in both scenarios is effort – you could shut the fuck up and buckle down and actually try to win. But ewww, we’d have to give money to candidates and talk to people in flyover country. Rice, Ryan, Elllison, and Moulton must be livid.

    More abject unawareness – she tweeted yesterday that the GOP thinks that healthcare is a privilege, not a right. Now where have i heard that before, that healthcare is a right? Does that mean you’re on board for single-payer now Nance, or is it just a right to buy insurance from your donors with unaffordable copays and deductables. (antoher hint here – dental care and optical care is healthcare too.) You couldn’t make it up.

    I have no time for Chuck Schumer, but i’ll give him that he doesn’t slight any of his Senators, he works for all of their re-elections.

  7. KevinNevada says:

    SB and NF:

    The Democrats here in Nevada think that 2018 is very fucking important.

    Sen. Heller is up as a target, especially after last week.
    Our Governor and Lt. Gov. seats are termed out, and so open, and the Republican AG is running for Governor so THAT will be open, too.

    And, they’ll defend the two House seats that were taken from the Republicans last year. One of those winners, Rep. Jackie Rosen was picked by dear old Harry Reid to run for Senate so THAT is at risk.

    (Great move, Harry. Wonderful. Thanks for hanging around!! But I digress.)

    Pelosi’s attitude is not widely shared.

    Believe me.

  8. KevinNevada says:

    NF:

    Not news here, Sheldon has been trying to push Nevada to the right for a long time.

    His new toy the R-J was already one of the most conservative papers in the US. But it was a Libertarian paper. Under Sheldon it now pushes for his agenda, and for a while that included using public money for the new Raiders stadium, a deal the pre-Adelson R-J would have opposed with vigor.

    Instead there has been almost no questioning of that deal.

    Adelson is no longer part of the stadium/Raiders team (he was, at first) but the paper is still quiet on that front.

    I’m sure that throughout 2018 the R-J will provide its usual far-right views on our election here.

    But people are used to that. Back in the day, that same paper used to run Westbrook Pegler (remember him?) on Page One every day.

    That was back when this town was called the ‘Mississippi of the West’.

    Nevada has evolved since then and continues to evolve.

    We are still a frontier town.

  9. StillBernie says:

    Kev –

    Pelosi’s attitude may not be widely shared, but that’s the problem. You have to get rid of her. She isn’t doing shit but continuing to toot her own horn and turn voters off. Or drop shipping shiny new DNC hacks into the states that could instead use a lot of help at the local level.

    Apparently the Senators are delighted that Reid has fucked off, Schumer is reportedly much more accessible and involved.

  10. KevinNevada says:

    SB:

    the problem is that Harry is still “active” here in Nevada.

  11. StillBernie says:

    Condolences. But as long as he stays out of my state…

  12. StillBernie says:

    Comedy moment, from the NYT.

    “As The A.P.’s Steve Peoples observed, “Priebus was among only Trump campaign insiders NOT to sign non-disclosure agreement last year.” Former Obama staffer Cody Keenan added another angle: “‘Hello, Reince? Hey, it’s Bob Mueller’” he tweeted on Friday.”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/31/opinion/donald-trump-loyalty.html

  13. NatashaFatale says:

    “…NOT to sign non-disclosure agreement…”

    I know I shouldn’t be, but I am utterly gobsmacked. How could a position of so-called public trust ever be subject to an NDA? What else – a non-compete? You will not go to work for any other government for at least two years?

    Bluthner – oh, Bluthner. I need some free legal advice again…

  14. KevinNevada says:

    NT:

    CBS’s Juliana Goldman did a report late last week, on the incredible gobsmacking NDA’s now being demanded of all Trump Org. staff; they now include anything in the political or governmental sphere that relate in any way to the O.H., any of his kids or any of their in-laws or relatives to any degree, and it’s retroactive to before the election.

    It raises the specter of a person lawfully responding to a subpoena from Mueller, testifying honestly on public business (say, wild speculation, Russian collusion in a certain campaign) and then being sued in civil court for violating the NDA.

  15. bluthner says:

    It’s a good question, Nat. I’d be inclined to say that none of those NDAs are enforceable, which I’m sure was the only reason that many people signed them. I’ve signed contracts that have included ridiculously draconian contracts myself, because I knew full well that while the reasonable clauses of the contract were entirely enforceable, the ridiculously draconian ones were not.

    But I never had to test it. And the clauses of which I am thinking had been tested many times, and failed, and would never even survive a preliminary motion to dismiss.

    An NDA for a public position, as far as I know, has never been tested at all. My guess is that it would be upheld on matters that were strictly personal. So if a white house aide signed an NDA and then went public on, dunno, what kind of tattoos the Hairball sports on his ball sack- maybe Trump could win that one. But anything at all to do with public life, public events, the actual functions of the white house- I highly doubt any court would uphold such a clause.

    Quite apart from the issue of NDAs, Sessions and others asserted executive priviledge in the content of their conversations with the president, when they testified before Congress. That was a new and as yet untested by the courts idea, related to the idea of an NDA, but different from it.

    Trump himself bandied the idea of a ban on private sector employment in related fields after government service, in theory to stop the lobbying ‘revolving door’ behavior of so many govt officials, but that seemed to be just more cheap talk.

  16. bluthner says:

    Sorry, meant to say I’ve signed contracts that have included ridiculously draconian clauses….

  17. bluthner says:

    It raises the specter of a person lawfully responding to a subpoena from Mueller, testifying honestly on public business (say, wild speculation, Russian collusion in a certain campaign) and then being sued in civil court for violating the NDA.

    Kev,

    I’m pretty sure that it’s not even possible to construct an NDA that could be violated by subpeonaed testimony under oath. So I don’t think your specter will ever be a an actual worry for anyone.

  18. bluthner says:

    What I guess those NDAs would be good for is encouraging anyone who signed one to think twice before running her or his mouth. Not because the NDA could be enforced, but because proving it could not be enforced would cost money. Or if not money- plenty of top lawyers would take that case pro bono- then time.

    And at the very least it would make the person who broke the NDA have to admit that she or he broke the promise he or she made when he signed it.

    I can’t believe McMasters or Kelly would sign such a document, just because it’s such a humiliating thing to be asked to do. Surely at least those two have more dignity than that.

  19. NatashaFatale says:

    I’ve signed quite a few contracts with unenforceable NDA and non-compete clauses myself – always on the advice of an attorney (an hysterically laughing attorney, usually). Once I signed one acknowledging that my customer owned the concepts of accounts payable, accounts receivable, general ledger, “and et cetera”. Exclusively. Because I had sold those rights to him! But I never had to worry about the FBI driving up in force to haul me away for breaking a contract with the President…

  20. StillBernie says:

    Yeah, i was wondering about the generals signing those myself.

    Think the Russkies listen in on Ivanka and Jared’s phones?

  21. bluthner says:

    I never had to worry about the FBI driving up in force to haul me away for breaking a contract with the President…

    Nor would Spicey or anyone else. An NDA is a civil contract. The FBI don’t enforce civil contracts. At least not yet….

  22. …what kind of tattoos the Hairball sports on his ball sack…

    Oy.
    Pretty sure my life has not been enriched by exposure to that particular mental image.

  23. Expat says:

    In my experience most if not all NDAs that I have signed contained something along the following lines.

    The provisions of this Agreement do not extend to any Confidential Information which is required by any law, or any requirement of any court, tribunal, authority, regulatory body, to be disclosed provided that the Recipient shall intimate to the Discloser that confidential information is going to be solicited or to be provided to any of the aforesaid statutory authorities.

  24. NatashaFatale says:

    “The FBI don’t enforce civil contracts.” I was thinking about when Jared’s sophomore roommate is the FBI’s director-of-the-week. I guess I shoulda said that.

  25. NatashaFatale says:

    …what kind of tattoos the Hairball sports on his ball sack…

    Oy.

    In my experience, this kind of moral rot is always the sign of an overly permissive web site. Allow it to go unpunished and pretty soon we’ll have fluoride in the drinking water.

  26. StillBernie says:

    You’d think i would be bothered by that image (yep, i snickered). I’m not, because i’m also imagining the pain getting those sort of tattoos would cause.

  27. StillBernie says:

    I should also add that i was unbothered by the Mooch’s lingo as well (dunno, maybe i watched too many Mamet or Scorcese flicks), i snickered at the Bannon bit. I always had a hot or two for Santino Corleone.

  28. bluthner says:

    Of course if the tats in question were based on the ICBM codes, which I’m guessing they probably are if they’re recent (it’s not like the guy has much to do all day except watch TV and cheat at golf on the weekends) then they wouldn’t be stricly personal anyway.

    I sort of assumed you meant the new tremendous FBI as re-configured by the Hairball, but once we get to that point, why bother with NDAs at all? The boss don’t like the way you talked about his ball sac on a blog somehweres, what more would them boys who specialize in rough handling need?

  29. NYT is reporting Scaramucci is toast.
    Kelly is the hatchet man now, I would imagine.

    Anything to get the conversation away from Der Führer’s ballsack.

  30. bluthner says:

    So the mooch was called in to decapitate Rincey; once that was done his services were no longer required. Talk about loyalty.. But if were going to war with N. Korea we can’t have a dickhead like Scaramucci doing the pressers, obviously. I’m sure Kelly will know some hard-assed junior officer who will be pleased to knock the press room into shape.

  31. KevinNevada says:

    While you guys are distracted by the Odious Hairball’s fascinating tattoos,

    this testimony was presented to the Senate.

    (Actually, it was presented last week while Scaramucci distracted the world with his antics.)

  32. StillBernie says:

    Looks like it was those crazy kids who wanted dad to hire the Mooch because they wanted Priebus shitcanned. No NDA, sing like a canary to us.

  33. KevinNevada says:

    NF:

    It’s really your fault, you know.

    You were the one who asked for free legal advice from the sick mind of Bluthner, upon which he created for us the image of the tattoos on the O.H.’s ball sack – whatever they may turn out to be.

    That depraved example is in our minds, really, because you stirred that pot.

    So I blame you for it all.

  34. NatashaFatale says:

    Kev,

    My doctor says I need to stop listening to the voices that tell me I’m the most powerful guy around. You’re not helping. I may have to send a lightning bolt or two your way.

  35. KevinNevada says:

    NF:

    The voices tell me I’m a well grounded feller. :-)

  36. StillBernie says:

    More comedy from the “you couldn’t make it up department” – (Wapo)

    White House sanctions Venezuelan president after election that critics called ‘illegitimate’

    The move came after President Trump — and other world leaders — warned Nicolás Maduro of “swift” consequences if he went through with a controversial vote to replace his current legislature with a new body more loyal to himself.

  37. bluthner says:

    the sick mind of Bluthner

    You have no idea.

  38. StillBernie says:

    Along with it seems like half the country, i’m going to bed with a serious case of Bohemian Rhapsody earworm. Unlike them, i seem to also be afflicted with “do your balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow, can you throw them over your shoulder…etc.” So thanks for that.

  39. NatashaFatale says:

    Kev – Neat, and not gaudy.

  40. bluthner says:

    To change the subject slightly: whatever happened to Jim Webb? He always seemed like the kind of guy who could work a broad tent. Street cred, working class southern white cred, military cred. There was a moment he looked like he might be the guy and then- nothing.

  41. NatashaFatale says:

    Bluth,

    In 2014 or so he thought he might make a run for 2016 and dipped his toe in. But he discovered that he couldn’t stand the company he was keeping and quit in disgust. He’s over 70 now, so I doubt he’ll be trying again.

  42. bluthner says:

    Nat,

    Thanks for that. Makes sense. I had no idea he was that old. I should have worked that out.

  43. StillBernie says:

    Yeah, Niner wanted Webb. I would have had a look at him. But the impression i got – as an Indy who would have been open to a look – was that he didn’t really want it badly enough to make an effort. It’s a tough line to walk – if someone wants it too badly, that raises some obvious red flags. But when they can’t really be bothered to make an effort, than neither can i.

    Otoh, Obama, and especially Jarrett, are working on getting Deval Patrick to run. Jarrett seems to be another turd (without portfolio) who just won’t flush.

  44. StillBernie says:

    So Cory Booker is introducing a pro-weed bill. Which gives him a slight benefit of doubt in my ledger. But, i wouldn’t be even remotely surprised if he has Pharma backing from some entity who wants in on the game. Of course, Bernie beat him to it by a couple of years and got nowhere, so wait and see. Dunno if he has a sponsor from the other side, but Rand Paul might be his best bet there.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Enter the answer in digits. If you are registered and logged in, this silliness will go away. Time limit is exhausted. Please reload the CAPTCHA.